Many couples build long, loving, committed relationships, without ever walking down the aisle. You do everything together, from raising kids to sharing a home. So it’s only natural to assume the law would treat you like a married couple… right? Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. 

No matter how committed your relationship is — or how many years you’ve been together — if you’re not legally married, you are legally single. And being “legally single” can create major problems when it comes to medical emergencies, inheritance, financial decisions, and even taxes. 

This isn’t a debate about which relationships should be recognized. This is about helping you understand how the law sees your relationship today — and what steps you can take to protect one another moving forward.

1. Who Makes Decisions for You in an Emergency?

If something unexpected happens — an accident, a medical emergency, or a long term illness — most people assume their partner will automatically be the one making decisions.

But unless you’re legally married, the law doesn’t give your partner any authority. Some states have a statutory hierarchy — a legal “pecking order” for who gets to make some decisions for you if you become incapacitated. If you don’t have valid estate planning documents in place, in many cases a petition to the probate court for the appointment of a guardian (for medical and care decisions) and conservator (for financial decisions) will be required. 

This process can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining for your loved ones. It divides their attention from just your needs, to also meeting the requirements of the court order. It also does not necessarily represent who you would have wanted to be in charge. The court may give deference to your parents or siblings, over your chosen partner.

The solution?

Creating two essential documents:

• Durable Power of Attorney (for finances) 

• Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care + Advance Directive

These documents speak for you when you can’t and legally put your partner in charge if that’s what you want.

2. Who Inherits Your Property If You Don’t Have a Will or Trust?

Here’s another common misconception among unmarried couples: “If one of us passes away, everything will automatically go to the other.” It feels logical — especially if you share a home or have children together — but that’s not how state law works.

When you pass away without a Will or a Trust, the intestate succession laws that your estate passes through treat you as a legally single person. Even if you’ve been together for a long time. 

That means:

• Your partner is not a legal heir

• Your separately owned property will go to your family — not your partner

• Your partner may even lose the home you shared if they aren’t on the deed

This is especially tricky for unmarried couples raising children together. Many assume that if one parent dies, the surviving partner will receive 100% of the estate. But if the deceased partner owns property individually, it will pass according to the state’s inheritance laws — not automatically to the person raising the children.

The solution?

Several planning tools can protect your wishes:

• A Will

• A Revocable Living Trust

• Joint ownership (with rights of survivorship)

• Transfer-on-Death (TOD) or beneficiary designations

• Non-probate transfers

These tools let you decide who receives your home, your accounts, and your property — not state law.

3. The Trap Unmarried Couples Don’t Know About

Here’s a problem married couples never have to think about: 

When a legally married spouse transfers assets to the other, it’s tax-free. When an unmarried partner does the exact same thing, it can be considered a taxable gift. 

For example:

• You own a home in your name only

• You add your long-term partner to the deed

• If you are married – no tax consequence

• If you are not married — you may have just made a taxable gift

That gift could require:

• Filing a gift tax return

• Using part of your lifetime exemption 

• Or in rare cases, owing gift tax

And this isn’t just about houses. It can come up with:

• Large financial gifts

• Joint accounts

• Business interests

• Major personal property

The solution?

Before transferring any major assets, talk to:

• An estate planning attorney and

•  A tax advisor

They can help you plan transfers strategically and avoid unnecessary tax consequences.

Why This Matters for Unmarried and “Unrecognized” Couples

Whether your relationship is unmarried by choice, by law, or due to an unrecognized marriage (such as common-law marriage that your state doesn’t honor) the outcome is the same: Your state will not treat your partner like your spouse unless you take legal action. That means your partner could be:

• Excluded from the hospital in an emergency

• Pushed out of financial or medical decision-making

• Unable to inherit your property

• Exposed to unnecessary taxes vulnerable to disputes with your biological family 

• Left trying to navigate complex issues during a crisis

The good news?

You have the power to fix this!

Protecting the Life You’re Building Together

Love builds a family. The law requires paperwork. The best thing to do to protect your partner, while also making sure your wishes are honored, is plan ahead.

Here’s where you should start:

1. Durable Power of Attorney for Finances

2. Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care

3. Advance Directive

4. Last Will and Testament

5. Revocable Living Trust

6. Review  of asset titles and beneficiary designations

7. Tax planning for shared property

An estate planning attorney can walk you through each step and help you create a personalized plan that reflects your relationship, your values, and your future goals.

You Define Your Relationship — The Law Just Needs It in Writing

You and your partner may treat each other as life partners, soulmates, or your “better half,” but without legal documents, the state treats you as strangers. Estate planning allows you to take control — so your future is shaped by your choices, not default laws. Now is the perfect time to make sure your plans are protected — especially if you’re building a life together.

Your relationship deserves the same level of clarity, certainty, and security the law automatically gives to married couples — and estate planning is how you get there.

How Schroeder Larsen Law Can Help

I understand that every family—married or unmarried—deserves clarity, protection, and peace of mind. I’ve guided countless couples through the exact challenges discussed in this article, helping them create Powers of Attorney, Wills, Trusts, and tailored plans that actually reflect the life they’ve built together. 

My approach is educational, compassionate, and focused on making sure your wishes—not the state’s default rules—drive every decision. If you and your partner want to make sure your future plans are truly yours, I’m here to walk you through each step with confidence and care.

Click here to chat with me today!